The Most Imperfect Melody [Part 4]

[yuuki-02.livejournal.com]

FINAL PART!!!

If you have come this far, please know that I'm very thankful. I know that it must be annoying to read a fic in this way, so, really, thank you very much if you're still sticking with it.

A week later…


The always meticulous Sakurai Sho, who had always his plan arranged to the tiniest detail, who was always following perfectly his timetable, on that day was managing to mess everything up.

In the morning, he didn’t hear his alarm ringing, resulting on him waking up at midday and losing the train he had to take. The night before he went to bed early, but he was too nervous so it wasn’t easy to fall asleep.

He tried to get ready and go out as soon as he could, considering it took nearly two hours to reach Ashikaga from Tokyo.

Since he had already lost his train, and he doubted that there would be another one anytime soon, he decided to go by car. Of course, he prayed every Goddess and God so that there won’t be any traffic on the way. This seemed to work since there weren’t as many cars as he had thought, but the clock hands were still running and when he arrived in Ashikaga, it was already almost 5pm.

As soon as he found a place, Sakurai, not caring if it was far or not from the school, parked his car. After that, he started to run as he had never done before. As if his life were going to depend on that meeting, and well, actually, it kind of did.

When he approached the school’s gate, he saw how the courtyard was filled with all kind of stands; there were also many people there enjoying their time. Gathering all the athleticism he had inside, which wasn’t much frankly, he tried to avoid crushing on anyone. Sakurai found himself doing the slalom between the crowd; students, parents, children, anyone would jump on their feet as soon as Sho would pass them with high speed.

“Excuse me, I’m sorry, I’m in a hurry, sorry, please move aside,” he was repeating left and right.

When he finally got into the building, he took a deep breath and began to climb up the stairs. He glanced at his watch: half past 5pm. His legs were abandoning him, his lungs were out of breath, but his heart was pushing him forward, because of that ‘I’ll wait for you’.

He finally reached the last floor. Luckily, there weren’t as many people as outside, but still Sakurai had to dodge many students.

After he turned the last corner, he went straight to the music classroom.

“I’m here!” he shouted as soon as he opened the door.

Aiba, who was already inside the room, got so startled that he let out a tiny gasp and dropped his phone on the floor.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t hear my alarm this morning, so I woke up very late and missed the train...I had to come here by car and...you know, Ashikaga it’s more than two hours away from Tokyo so...” Sakurai explained panting.

He closed the door and leaned on the wall beside it, trying to regain his breath.

“It’s alright, don’t worry. The fact that you came it’s already enough,” Aiba replied while picking up his phone from the floor, checking if it was working fine, before putting it into his trousers’ pocket.

“I...didn’t want you to...think that I wasn’t coming,” he told him.

Aiba smiled at those words, silently thanking him.

Sakurai would really like to tell something, but at the moment it was really difficult due to his panting. He apologized to the other man who reassured him that it was fine. Aiba knew after all that any type of physical activity was hell for him.

When he had calmed down, he could focus again and started to feel the weird atmosphere in the room. As if that were the iconic moment of a shoujo manga.

Now, all the nervousness he hadn’t felt throughout the whole travel, since his attention was on arriving on time, filled every cell of his body. He started to play with the hem of his shirt. All the things he had to say before were now stuck in his throat, not wanting to come out.

“Look at those three,” Aiba was the first one to talk.

He raised his head and saw how the taller man was pointing outside. He got nearer to the window and followed the spot Aiba’s finger was pointing at.

Matsumoto, who wasn’t on duty on that day, was walking through the students’ stands, while Ohno and Ninomiya were respectively at his left and right side. Probably, they were using the excuse of the crowd for staying even more glued to Matsumoto.

Sho laughed at that sight and Masaki followed him.

“I don’t know if to define Matsumoto poor or lucky,” he remarked amused.

“Well, at least he seems to be having fun,” Aiba commented. Indeed, Matsumoto’s face was cheerful, although Ohno and Ninomiya would throw some death-glares at each other behind the other man’s back.

“After all, it’s nice to be courted.”

“For the one doing that, though, it can be frustrating. You’re putting yourself in the line and don’t know how the other can react,” Aiba explained, his eyes having a gloomy aura.

Sho looked down, feeling guilty somehow. In their relationship, the one who had always took the first steps was Masaki. He was the first one who flirted with the other, the first one who showed his feelings; even now, he was the first one to talk. For someone like Masaki, doing this might be very nerve-wracking.

At that moment, a last week’s flashback crossed his mind.

“Ah, right!” he exclaimed out loud. Immediately, his cheeks blushed.

“What?” Aiba asked him curious.

“I-It’s about the lunchbox you gave me...Thank you,” he said, stuttering a bit.

“Did you enjoy it?” the other man’s tone seemed worried. Well, the other time he gave it to Ohno, so probably Aiba was expecting Sho to throw it away.

“Yes, it was delicious,” he replied before adding, “As always.”

The taller man’s eyes brightened up at the hearing of that.

“I’m glad.”

After that, silence fell over them again. Seriously, he had been throwing all kind of words to the other for the past weeks, why now he couldn’t say anything? Was it agitation? Was it the fact that Aiba Masaki was right in front of his eyes and for once they weren’t arguing? Maybe, he had been used to act in a certain way around the other, that now he didn’t know anymore how to talk normally.

Sakurai’s gaze started to wander in the room, trying to gain time for gathering up his courage to talk. Then, his eyes fell on the piano. Unconsciously, he began to walk up to it and before he could realize, he was brushing its keys.

“Go ahead.”

He turned toward Masaki, who was smiling at him and nodding, giving him the permission to play the musical instrument.

Biting his lip, Sho sat on the piano stool. He took a deep breath and, bringing his fingers on the keys, he started to play.

As the melody was taking shape, all the anxious feelings he had before went away, making room for happiness. It was as if he were finally complete, as if those notes were filling the void inside him.

He was playing their melody. He didn’t decide it beforehand, it came naturally when he was going to press the first note. With the corner of his eye, he saw Aiba leaning on the piano and looking at him with soft eyes, while smiling a bit.

His lips curved up in a grin which was becoming wider and wider but, suddenly, it transformed in a grimace of pain. But he didn’t want to stop, he wanted to continue playing. He didn’t want anything to separate him from the piano and lose all the joy and freedom he had finally felt again.

As all the times before, he tightened his eyes and clenched on his teeth. He tried to hold on at his best, tried to ignore the pain and focus on the melody. However, at last, his left hand blocked and fell on the keys, creating an abrupt sound which echoed in all the room.

All the harmonious feelings inside him started to leave him, disappearing as the previous times. If before he felt free, now he was feeling tied up again to his left hand, which was hurting very much; that pain adding to the one he had inside him.

He stayed still, as if his wrists were actually chained up. His body, though, was trembling.

Feeling a presence near him, he opened his eyes and turned. Aiba had just sat on the piano stool.

“Move your hand,” Aiba said, pointing to Sakurai’s left hand.

He looked at him in question but did as he was told. Also, he moved a bit so that the other man could have more room on the seat.

“I’m still your left hand after all, right?” Masaki asked.

Sho’s heart skipped a beat at those words.

“Come on, play. I know the notes,” the other man said, as he placed his left hand on the keys, and smiled playfully at his last words.

And as many and many times before, Masaki and Sho played the piano together. Like before, though, they weren’t perfect. In many points the notes would clash against each other, bringing a bit down the melody, but after that, somehow, they would manage to blend and the melody would lighten up again.

To Sho, it was incredible what was happening. All the feelings he had lost were coming to him again, and all thanks to Masaki. The fact that it was the latter who brought back all he was feeling inside made his heart fill with adoration.

“It always comes out with some flaws,” he commented as they pressed the last keys.

“Yeah, but even if it is the most imperfect melody, I still love it,” Aiba affirmed, before turning to him, “It’s like us after all.”

They smiled at each other. Indeed, that melody was just like them. It would be a bit messed up but then it would be smooth and nice. It had all kind of defects, but it was still beautiful.

That was their melody and they could only play it together. It couldn’t be played only by one of them. That would make it a whole different thing, it wouldn’t be the same.

Somehow, it was as if Masaki were the bridge who connected him to the piano, to the music.

He smiled to himself at that thought.

“Thank you,” he mumbled.

“I should thank you, for letting me play one more time with you.”

“No, it’s me. And not only for this. You did so much to me, and I didn’t realize anything of that…I was blind and couldn’t see all the mistakes I was making. I treated you in an awful way...I’m sorry,” all the words which before were stuck inside him, now, were coming out bit by bit.

“I made many mistakes too. I could have tried to fix things but instead I let them break, thinking that they were going to solve by themselves. The only thing that I should have done was reach out to you and I didn’t…”

“Neither did I...If I had done that, we could have saved our relationship. After all, we loved each other and we wanted to be together. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have endured so much when things were going so bad.”

“Maybe it wasn’t our time, maybe we weren’t ready. Even though it sounds weird since we were already in our 30s.”

“Yeah…”

He had missed talking to Aiba like this. They should have done this so much time before and probably everything would have gone well. For the past week, his mind had been filled with ‘What if…’, and now they were only increasing. All the mistakes of the past had made him drown in regret.

“Sho-chan…”

Again, his heart skipped a beat. Hearing Masaki calling him like that, after all this time, wasn’t something he was expecting. He smiled, a bit moved by that action, and turned to him.

“Do you think that you can forgive me?”

“Only if you do that too,” he replied.

“I have nothing to forgive. And even if I had, I would have already forgiven you.”

“You’re forgiven too, then.”

They chuckled a bit, before Aiba spoke again.

“Do you love me?”

Sho was taken aback by that question. It was too early for him to understand that, after all, just a week ago he was hating him. Still, love and hate were the two sides of the same coin.

“I don’t know…” he answered at last, opting for sincerity.

Aiba nodded and looked down before saying, “As for me, well, you already know from the letter, but I’ll tell you anyway.”

Masaki looked at him straight in his eyes and then whispered, as if the only one who could hear those words was him.

“I love you.”

Sho’s heartbeat started to race. Apparently, he still lived for Masaki’s ‘I love you’. And he had said that as he used to do, with the same tender eyes, with the same sweet voice, with the same gentle smile.

Only at that moment he noticed how their faces were near. He looked down, slightly embarrassed; he saw how Masaki’s hand seemed eager to touch him, but it was still, in midair.

Aiba followed his gaze and as soon as he understood that he was watching his hand, he retrieved it.

“Sorry. I know that you told me to not touch you, so don’t worry I won’t-”

“You can touch me, if you want,” he cut him off.

Aiba was clearly surprised by those words. He gulped and nodded.

Slowly, he brought his hand on Sakurai’s cheek. He leaned on the touch, which he realized only at that moment he had missed as the oxygen. Aiba’s left hand then moved to his neck and slid down, touching Sho’s shoulder, forearm, wrists, hand; it then moved to his hips and brought Sakurai closer.

“Can I...kiss you?” Masaki asked. Sho could see the worry of being rejected in his eyes.

He cupped Masaki’s face with his hands and, grinning, replied, “Yes.”

Smiling, Masaki gently placed his lips on his. In one second, Sho lips parted and let Masaki’s tongue explore his mouth. They knew each other’s tastes, though, so it didn’t feel as something new. For this reason it felt even more amazing, because it was as if their tongues remembered and went crazy when they recognized the other, after being separated for so long.

In Sho’s mind, all kind of memories flowed in his body. Mostly, though, all the best and happy moments he had spent with Masaki. It was true that the other had made him suffer, but Aiba Masaki have meant and was still meaning so much to him.

He felt something in him which was saying, “I want you.”

He immediately circled his hands around the other man’s body and brought him nearer. And so did Aiba, so that now there was almost no space between them.

Sho could have stayed like that forever. As Masaki was kissing him with all his being, as his hands were on him, he felt the happiest person in the world. And probably even Masaki was feeling that way, if he had to consider the fact that he wasn’t giving any sign of breaking that kiss.

They had to, eventually, since they were out of breath by now. Their mouths were still only inches apart from each other, though, and their hands were still on their bodies.

Sho caressed Masaki’s hair and after placed his head on the other’s shoulder. Masaki hugged him and rested his head on Sho’s.

“Can we stay like this for some time?” he asked.

“As much as you want. Even for eternity,” Masaki replied and left a kiss on his hair.




••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

From the window of the classroom, he stared at Sho who was walking toward the exit of the school.

They didn’t promise anything to each other. They didn’t agree on seeing or calling each other or anything like that. But he could see that in Sho’s eyes there wasn’t any more hatred. Actually, the contrary.

They just needed time. Masaki believed in them. He knew that one day they will be by each other’s side again. One day, he will finally wake up and see again Sho laying next to him, his body all cuddled up against him.

He didn’t know when it will be, but he is ready to wait for him as much as it was needed, if this meant having Sho back.

At that moment, Aiba remembered something and he took out his phone. He dialed the other man’s number and waited.

Even though he was distant, Masaki saw how Sakurai looked at his phone and then turned toward his direction. His call was picked up immediately after.

“You unblocked my number…” he remarked.

“If I hadn’t, it would have been hard to reach out to each other,” Sakurai explained.

He bit his lower lip, trying to hold in a scream of happiness.

“Take care on your way home,” he managed to say, trying to remain calm.

“I’ll let you know as soon as I arrive.”

Without saying anything else, he closed the call and looked as the other exited the school. When Sho was out of sight, he finally let out a loud sigh of relief and joy.

His heart was overflowing with love at that moment. He couldn’t even describe how he was feeling right now.

“I have just seen Sakurai go away, how did it go?”

Aiba turned around and saw Nino standing by the door.

“Weren’t you with Ohno and Matsumoto?”

“Forget them, you’re more important. What happened?”

He wanted to tell him every single detail but, at the moment, he was so excited that the only thing he could was hugging his friend as tight as he could, smiling from ear to ear.

“I guess that it went well then,” Nino chuckled, before saying, “Well, at least the true Aiba Masaki is back again now.”

Yes, finally, he was back.




The End